You work out of a Hotel?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
