Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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