I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
