We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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