The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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