your room smells of hookers.
And success
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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