the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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