About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Couch. On fire.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
