if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
