I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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