It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
