i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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