Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have already put on my inside pants.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
