it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
