I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
