Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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