he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
