Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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