it wasn't lemon gatorade
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
