Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
