Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
