Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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