My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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