dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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