Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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