I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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