You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
