Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
