dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
