Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh god it's open bar.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
