Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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