he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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