Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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