Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
