You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
