Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
