dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
