so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
