So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
