This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
