I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
