I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
