I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
