I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
