My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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