i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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