Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there's paper in my vomit.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
