Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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