I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
