Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
