Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
