Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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