so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
